How Gut Health Can Strengthen Your Resolve Against Temptation w/ Frank Rich

Transcript

welcome to the Shameless podcast where I help Christian men kill shame stand strong and live on Mission I'm your host Ken PL and I'm bringing you real stories practical insights and biblical truths that equip you to break free from your sin shame and live a life of purpose let's step out of the Shadows together and Into the Light of Christ all right everybody welcome back to another Shameless podcast episode where we explore real conversations around shame addiction and the journey to reclaim your god-given purposes today we're joined with by Frank Rich the founder of rebuilt recovery and the podcast the rebuilt man who is pioneering a unique approach to overcoming porn addiction by combining Faith with Fitness methods integrates the often Overlook importance of gut health as a foundation of mental Clarity self-discipline and spiritual enlightenment in this episode we're going to do a deep dive into how just aligning Your Body Mind and Spirit can help strengthen your resolve against Temptation and lead to Lasting Freedom Frank welcome to the show man super excited to have you Ken thanks for having me here brother grateful uh to be here today man yeah man and before we jump into our conversation can you just tell the audience something fun fun about you that most people wouldn't know unless they're really good friends with you yeah uh well that's probably going to be everybody listening to this right may know a few of the people that are checking this one out but you know it's funny because people will see me right and it's like I'm this big you know 6 foot three 245 pound you know former bodybuilder like I carry a present and uh like there's an aura to me especially if you kind of get me in my elements maybe there's uh an aggressive nature to some of the things I'm very passionate about a handful of things in this world so I think one thing that people maybe wouldn't know is the love that I have for animals and in fact this my first time sharing this uh in like a public platform but I have this dream and I believe it's gonna happen probably within the next five years to open up a gym that seconds as a nonprofit uh pet uh rescue uh called lift heavy pet dogs so we' sell gym memberships uh it'd be an open form where people could bring their dogs to the gym if they wanted to but we would also have rescues that would be there uh as a part of the facility if somebody fell in love with one of the pups while training they would have the option to adopt the pet and take them home so everything I do to help men is leading me towards hopefully one day that being my future dude that's awesome man I was not expecting that at all but it's such a cool thing to be like you know what I want to take care of God's creations and animals so uh and people's bodies I mean people's bodies yeah it's combining so many of the things that uh I've dedicated my life to with health with Fitness uh with service with giving back and uh yeah I think all animals are amazing I think what's the meme you see the puppy that's sitting in the shopping cart it's like I'll send them without wings so nobody will know that they're Angels I've had many moments looking into a dog's eyes where you feel a Divine connection there so yeah there's something special there that's cool man well I know that you have a unique perspective to our conversation today about helping men break through uh from freedom in porn but uh I want to hear your story first man how did you start struggling what kind of ended up happening just share your story for those of people who might not have heard it before yeah uh I appreciate that Ken and you know I think as the people listening will maybe learn today not only do I have a unique perspective on maybe recovery and freedom I think I have a unique perspective on the world but to answer the question my struggle with pornography started as a young very very young boy I first saw it at 6 years old fortunate and grateful that I didn't grow up in today's technology uh in kind of the the smartphone world uh because what I saw at six was a magazine I didn't have real access to the internet and real high streaming stuff until I was already in my 20s but that early exposure definitely planted seeds of curiosity it also kind of taught the behavior of like hiding things and keeping things secret which at a young age is can be part nature but when you kind of learn that it's okay and you kind of begin to really pair that with the guilt and shame which I love the name of your podcast here so six years old early introduction signs of adictive behavior I can you know see retroactively looking back through my teenage years just with how I was going about finding things but the struggle got real in in my 20s and that was at the of obviously technology the internet social media so so struggled deeply with it in my 20s and 30s the classic hiding it from Girlfriends struggling with erectile dysfunction suicidal ideation depression anxiety leaving social events hiding things other things that were you know byproduct of this addiction not addressing a lot of this for a long time I think buying the lie that pornography is normal it's a right of passage it's something that every guy does but also at the same time knowing that there was something unique about my behavior because I would find ways to leave public settings or literally skip out on social events just to stay home and watch porn so around my mid-30s it like early to mid-30s life got a little dark uh I went through kind of a business high and then a pretty big failure that I could probably point back to a lot of it due to my behavior once again not addressing it for a real long time and then a series of events kind of brought me to my faith in 2018 and I think that was the beginning of this journey that I've been on for the last six years so I mean it literally was six years ago and a week uh as the recording of This podcast October 22nd 2018 in Orlando Florida uh is when I gave my life to Christ and and that was the first step in me beginning to pull back a lot of the layers and how I was showing up who I was presenting myself to be uh to to the world because there was this image of Frank who he was and then there was the truth about Frank so starting to live in Integrity starting to really be truthful about who I was God started to really tug at me and and the next year I made a lot of Life Changes starting with alcohol starting with um abstinance cleaning up some some some relationships and pornography was really this last Thorn that I needed to remove that day came February 14th 2019 so in a short window of time from giving my life to Christ to to experiencing real Freedom like a change of the heart a change of the desire to even want to go look at this and then as I started to walk in Freedom my world started to change so this is where like my I think understanding of recovery really started was through my experience I didn't set out to like become a different person because I quit porn but it was like as my brain started to heal and rewire and my heart started to change I'm like I started to see the world through a completely different lens and that led me to really wanting to share my story and that I launched a podcast in 2019 called the Superman life you know back then this conversation wasn't really regular there there weren't a lot of episodes and podcasts like yours that were out there so I think the fact that it was open vulnerable but I also think some of my presence in energy and even some of the things I've done before like got me to allow allowed me to speak about these things in certain rooms and and with certain people that maybe wouldn't have happened if it wasn't if it wasn't me and I I don't say that like righteously by any nature but I do look back as kind of being like a Pioneer in those early days for this conversation so the podcast got picked up and then it just kind of really started to take off and guys started reaching out for help I was hesitant about coaching I was running a marketing agency and things were really happening very quickly but January 2020 right before the world shutdown which is so unique to think that like this problem I started really helping guys with right before it became an even bigger problem with the lockdowns and everything but that was a story man I know I kind of went all over the place there uh the struggle with pornography was 20 plus years Freedom was something that I never expected in my life and that led me to like I said launching the podcast and then doing the coaching thereafter yeah man I know there's so much we could dig into uh in your story but there's one thing I want to hone in before we get into kind of your framework of how you started to get recovery you said in 2018 you got saved you surrendered your life to Christ what was kind of the Catalyst to all of a sudden say you know what I need God CU from the outside perspective it sounded like things were going great you were a bodybuilder right you were in shape everything was looking good for your life if I heard that correctly right you got a marketing agency you got all this stuff going on but still you were done hiding I'm just curious what happened that made you surrender and just say Lord I need you yeah man there's this incredible book called uh surfing for God Michael John cusc and uh it's a book that we recommend we used to require every single one of our students and clients to read it because the book changed my life back in 2018 and Michael qu Co GK Chesterton in the book GK Chesterton Christian Theologian philosopher I think he was a spy too really unique background uh but he this quote it's like late 1800s when a man knocks on a brothel door he's knocking for God and Michael kind of takes that quote and brings it fast forward to today's society and world that every time we go to the internet every time we go to one of these Hub type sites that a man is trying to fill an empty hole in his heart through connection through false intimacy with pornography with lust or with brothel back in the day you know I think for me can filling that hole in my life led me to bodybuilding led me to business led me to marketing led me to personal development in my 20s uh I was curious as a young boy about the world I was curious about things that most people in my life and family were not discussing I witnessed a lot of addiction I witness a lot of pain witness a lot of uh emotional abuse growing up and I think it shaped my perception of the world in a very unique way so when I reached the top of the world in bodybuilding and saw had an empty hole in my life I ran to something else when I reached the top of the world in material possessions and still had an empty hole in my heart I ran into something else when I don't want to say reach the top of the world with alcohol and drugs is I really reached the bottom of hell but still had an empty hole in my heart with all those things I saw that there was only one other thing that I hadn't pursued and it was filling that hole with the only thing that can't fill it which was God so I've been on this journey for 20 years trying to look at the world material things to fill ultimately what only he can do now that led me into business masterminds and because I was open and because I believe God was directing a lot of these steps looking back Ken like God's hand was on my life many times through my my 20s and 30s as a non-believer there's there I only got out of situations because I believe he had a bigger purpose for my life and there's so many people that know me personally that could vouch for these things but that's how I see my life in the world is he was always leading me to do the work that I do today now there was incredible influence by a handful of men between 2018 uh 2017 and 2018 that ultimately led me to that but I believe it was divinely orchestrated but a handful of guys uh Vince St Monti his father Papa luch uh my best friend uh in the world and Mentor Josh kachadorian those guys played a significant role in it but I was always trying to chase something that I found out in 2018 only he can fill bro that's so amazing like I I I love hearing that testimony because you knew it like you're like I've I've done all the performance things right I've looked physically great I've pursued business entrepreneurship you did everything and you're like it still doesn't satisfy yeah and you had these amazing people to help you to kind of see like well Christ is the only one who satisfies now fast forward once you get saved you started to kind of you know break through all of these habitual sins that you had like alcohol drugs the last one was pornography and when you started to do that you actually started to find a unique way that for you worked really well and then you started to help men walk walk through those struggles kind of walk us through a little bit of that unique framework of yours that you started to see healing in your own life yeah man you know I say with rebuilt recovery we've created you know the world's only fully integrated holistic approach to porn addiction recovery and it's it's truthfully I believe a collection and a byproduct of my life's work and journey so I started the podcast 2019 like I kind of felt this calling I'd always wanted to be a podcaster since about 2015 2016 like I was deep into the space uh I had attended a couple events I had a few friends that were running shows the drive and want to have this platform of communication for me was always there now there was this story that could start as the framework and the platform for me hosting regular conversations but as I got about 30 40 episodes in and I was fortunate to get connected and begin to interview a lot of experts in different domains in Psychology in Behavioral Science in Neuroscience in the world of Faith paired with a background in business entrepreneurship understanding leadership development understanding a background in training Behavioral Science myself as well so as I'm doing this I'm looking at my life I'm looking at the things that had helped me previously in all the different domains that I had succeeded in right because there's there's something to these what I call success principles like if you can Leverage certain behavioral because we're human beings we behave and if we're going to succeed in a way you have to understand the role that humans Behavior play in producing certain outcomes now that's one part of the puzzle you have to understand what drives a person's want to behave in asserted way you got to understand the faith component like are you acting in alignment with what God would want you to do there how do you show up optimally from a nutrition and kind of a health output standpoint so I started to see all these unique principles then I looked back at okay well how did I actually get free like yes there was the surrender to my life to Christ but I still had to show up daily so what were the things that I was doing so I looked back at my documented journey I I began to look at the unique similarities in the people that we were interviewing and then when I started coaching so guys reached out and asked me for help like I didn't go try to create this program guys said they wanted it and I said sure I'll be the guy that will test it with you and that's really what I did I looked at what worked for me I looked at what was working in all these different domains and I came up with kind of a holistic framework that understands the role that our gut health plays in how our brain fires that understands Behavioral Science that understands the role of self-perception and identity that understands how all these things kind of synergistically work together to produce one human being that's got to live here and operate in the world so that was kind of the foundation for it but like like I said I think what makes it unique is when I've looked at people that are successful or people that are helping people out there nobody's pulling on all like some will have a few of these components I believe we're the only one that's truly figured out a way to kind of integrate it all together yeah and I think that one of those unique aspects is the gut health right because you talk a lot about health and nutrition and I mean I've been in this space for years and I've never really heard someone talk about that aspect which is true like I was like oh health is important right like if you're mentally sharp you're emotionally there you're more resilient it's easier to fight against dtation but that's why when you and I first talked I was like oh man we got to talk about this topic right so walk us through how does strengthening gut health change how men feel about themselves and their confidence and maybe first before that actually is like why is gut health so important let's talk about that actually first why is gut health so important yeah that's a great question man and the more and more I spend time around this topic the more I believe it may be the most important part of it hypocrates said it 2500 years ago all disease begins in the gut uh now he had no modern science technology to tell him that how did these Greek philosophers know such truth and wisdom they got it from somewhere right like in the fact that that quote has stood the test of time for over 2 200 years tells me that there's probably some universal truth in that foundational statement all disease begins within the gut I don't believe addiction is a disease anybody that holds on to that I believe is holding on to a limiting identity but for a long time the brain I'm sorry the gut was understood to be the second brain uh and science is now more and more and more pointing to it to be the first brain so everything that we put into our body goes into our gut first you ever have a hangover and like you wake up and like your maybe you haven't but those that have had a hangover like knows that one thing that comes with a hangover is a massive pounding headache like your brain feels like it's getting pounded on now why is that because you didn't drink alcohol into your brain it went into your gut well everything that your brain produced es and fires from a neurotransmitter level starts within your gut what is a neurotransmitter a neurotransmitter are the chemicals that fire within our brain which produce certain emotions oxytocin Feelgood dopamine motivation Drive Pursuit reward oxytocin serotonin Feelgood oxytocin connection all of that starts in your gut the healthier your gut is the healthier your brain's ability to produce those healthy neurotransmitters now what does that mean if you have poor gut health your brain produces poor neurotransmitters like you eat bad food you maybe don't feel as good both physically but even mentally the next day you're a little bit slower alcohol little bit slower okay so if we understand it produces unhealthy outcomes well if we could restore repair renew the inner lining of our gut AKA our gut microbiome then both anecdotally and I think what the science is pointing to your brain now begins to fire on a more operative cognitively healthier level so by restoring the gut health you're actually restoring the connection between the gut brain access but also your brain's ability to operate more focused more clearly you think you feel better across the board man I mean I I can answer any follow up there but I think that is like a good you know 30,000 F foot framework for it yeah well you know Frank when you were talking about it I think about like I believe it's Ephesians 6 uh I'm trying to remember the exact verse but it says stand strong in the Lord right and it's talking about spiritual warfare and when I hear this is that like if you're not taking care of your gut it's really hard to actually stand strong in the Lord like you can't actually stand because mentally and emotionally you're not sharp you're not ready for that you're fatigued and it's so easy for you to fall into temptation right like even when I was laughing you were talking about being hung over I have cut out all sugar like extra sweets and stuff like that since May so now it's October right and if I ever have anything that has extra sugar in it by accident dude I have such a pounding headache and my body immediately is like shutting down and I'm like I don't want to talk to anyone all of a sudden I'm irritable I'm more frustrated I'm more critical and it was like I just had a mango strip it's not like I had like you know I had something crazy but like that little thing changed right how I interact with my spiritual life and the spiritual world and also just people so I I asked that because like how does when you have that poor gut health how does that start to affect people falling easier into temptation yeah man it's great well you kind of said it man you become hey Frank I think you just got muted am I there now yep just start back from the part where you said that's a great question yeah I mean you said right there Ken when you don't eat good you don't feel as good you become more anxious you become less energetic your cognitive processing ability slows down so how's that going to lead to somebody falling into temptation here's the fact that every single person that's struggling with pornography has to accept every time you AKA slip or relapse you made a choice like you made a choice to go look at pornography so I think this idea only works if you understand that that you're choosing to look at pornography okay so if it's a choice that I made why did I make the poor choices what role did my gut did I have slow cognitive processing that literally I couldn't even correct myself to a certain degree maybe that happened but that's the first thing is like we have to understand that there's choices that we make now what role can actually ReStore in your gut health also play in that where there's going to be a discipline component to do what you did and not eat sugar for six months there's an element of willpower and discipline that had to be displayed now what happens I think when you learn to actually have some self-control around your food is you grow the skill set of discipline self-control and willpower like those are skills when something tempts me do I have the ability to say no some people do other people haven't developed the skill maybe when they were being raised by their parents not blaming their parents for raising poor adults maybe they were given everything maybe they were never actually shown what delayed gratification is great test there's a book on it the marshmallow test the ability to delay gratification the number one indicator of success in anything you want to do in this world so there's this element of self-control that we have to be able to display in the moment of Temptation like we just we have to build that learning to control it with your food not only restores the gut health but actually helps you build the skill set of delaying gratification now the interlining the microbiome how does that produce healthier neurotransmitters I don't understand all the science people can go down that rabbit hole I've witnessed it and I experienced it in my life anecdotally I did a great podcast with Dr step gundry who is a gut health expert where we discuss this so here is a nutritionist gut expert 70 years old best-selling author we spent 20 minutes talking about addiction because in his world so many people come to him because once again you restore the gut health you restore the brain health which brain health is going to lead to your ability to not give into temptation yeah Frank you know as you talk about gut health and people might be listening to this and be wondering like dude my gut health is trash you know they're pounding the sodas they're pounding the junk food and doing all that stuff how do they start like what's a good way for them to start getting the mental Clarity that you're talking about so that they can fight Temptation better yeah I mean everybody like you said is going to be at kind of a different stage in their Journey so be very hard to give like stop drinking soda or stop you know pounding sugar I recommend most people do all that I think the first step that everybody can take after hearing this is going to 48 to 72 hour fast literally deny yourself from food for the next two to three days have your water if you need some energy have some black coffee throw some MCT oil throw some butter in the coffee that's not going to break your fast sit with some pen and paper and when you feel tempted and triggered to eat write down actually what it is you're feeling and what it is you're thinking because probably one of the first things that's going to reveal itself to you is most of the times when you think about food you're not hungry you're trying to avoid a feeling or emotion that's present in its life now what does it have to do with pornography the same thing when you're thinking about going to look at pornography you're not sexually driven because you're a man with high sex drive you're probably trying to avoid an emotion or feeling that is present in your life but I think everybody will a have a lot more mental Clarity a lot more focus and you will learn a lot about yourself and how food controls you and your life if you go on a 48 to 72 hour fast starting right now dude I love it and I think that you're right the more you can be self-aware of what's triggering you from food that same thing applies to what's triggering you are you feeling lonely right now are you angry are you sad are you frustrated are you bored right like there's all these feelings that we as men try to simplify and we don't even acknowledge half the time yeah literally Sher a real time story with you was having a conversation with one of our clients on Friday he is at the point in our program where he is in his 48 hour fast he's like Frank I was 36 hours into it I was crushing it I was feeling good got into a Tiff I'll use the word Tiff mini argument with his wife he's like I didn't even realize it in order to get myself out of that emotional state that I was in I caught myself standing in front of the pantry eating potato chips it happened so unconsciously like he was crushed it he was having so much success he never looked at porn so it was a massive win but he's like because of the like the the energy within the argument I needed something to bring my nervous system down and he found himself with his back hand bag in the potato chips it was just like he just caught him and he's like what just happened and I said that's exactly why we're doing this because he was running from the feeling he was running from the argument to suppress himself with the potato chips yeah so so when those moments kind of happen how do you then integrate Faith right cuz we're talking a lot about the gut health all that stuff taking care of that how do you integrate the faith aspect of for example maybe not feeling condemnation like okay you screwed up but get back up again like I'm just curious what do you do yeah I think if you're waiting till that point to integrate the faith you probably missed the boat I think the faith needs to be integrated from the beginning right like Lord I'm doing this to bring myself closer to you I mean you would know that this a lot better than me but how many times are we called in the Bible to pray and seek the presence of the Lord I mean Jesus went into the desert for 40 days without food and it brought him closer to the Lord so I think that Faith component is not something that we wait until we're there so in our approach it's like we use Health Nutrition Neuroscience Behavioral Science psychology CBT but all of that is sitting on top of a faith Foundation right so it's like everything starts with Lord we're doing this to become closer to you by becoming the man that you've called us to be so that's the intent there from from the beginning so I don't know if it I wasn't trying to dodge the question but I'm trying to kind of answer it in a way where it's like that's more how I would see it being effective as opposed to saying well now I'm already eating potato chips like Lord please forgive me it's like no I'm probably going to mess up from the beginning so knowing that you've already got your grace and forgiveness like let's go like because my goal is to become closer to you yeah no I love that man I love how you said it like if you started to ask for God or help and guidance from God when you fail you've already messed up right you got to start at the beginning it's the foundation of everything of just like okay Lord I'm doing this I want to draw closer to you I know I need your help this is one means of Grace or mechanism is I got to get healthy I got to learn self-control I got to learn self-discipline I got to learn these things yeah but I'm going to do it with the help of God not just on my own effort yeah you Tee It Up from the beginning and then in the moments right when you are feeling like God I really want some ice cream you know and some some diet soda right now it's like then you can pause in a moment and because you've already like preemptively said Lord I'm trying to come closer to you then when you seek him in prayer like he's almost there waiting for you but if you wait until the moment and this is why in this space I think the worst advice with guys struggling with pornography is to pray and read your Bible it's the worst advice you're already doing that we need these other things I think are tools that God's given us to bring us closer to them we still want to do all that stuff but that's got to be the foundation and then we use these other let's call them tools to actually help us live in this world so just just I think it's a different lens that we need to look at a lot of this stuff through yeah well and I think Frank what we're talking about is that what you're trying to do is have someone be holistic right where I think sometimes what people sayy pray and read the Bible right I'm a huge advocate for those things yeah but it's almost like an overemphasis on just that but they're not taking care of their health how many pastors do we see that are overweight right and it's just like well no we're supposed to love our it says love the Lord your God with your heart body mind body and mind your soul and strength so if you're not loving the Lord with your body that's a problem and one of those ways I think you're talking about is just gut health let's take care of our bodies so we could show God that we're trying to love him yeah how many guys have you had tell you right you know I try to pray I try to read the Bible but I can't focus or my mind is all over the place well okay well what role is your gut health playing in that because we know an unhealthy gut produces an unhealthy mind which has the inability to just sit and quiet and focus so let's restore the gut health then when you sit down to pray like you can actually be there and presence in the moment dude that's such a great Point I've actually never thought about that just the clarity of not feeling anxious right cuz I mean there are times dude when I have been eating junk food and road trips are kind of like the worst at it right right because you're trying to drive and trying to stay awake but now I feel gross and I need to keep eating this gross stuff to try to stay awake but in those moments I don't have the clarity to be praying because I feel like I'm in a mental fog yeah it's just so difficult and my wife's like do you want to talk I'm like no I don't want to talk I just want to get to the place I'm getting to right now now the last over the last six months it's like I'm not even worried about that because I've just been like this journey of Health to try to say no no I don't need sugar to keep me uh alert and dude I've been so much more alert so much more clarity even like you were saying prayer life I was like wow I feel like I hear from God more now because it's just like I'm not brain fogged all day long I love that man dude I did the carnival diet we still have it as like a protocol some guys follow it I'm not as much of a I was never carnivore zelt where it's like you got to eat only meat or you're going to like destroy the world or you're not going to be able to live optimally but like in 2019 it was a big part of my journey was a big part of my life for about eight months and I met a lot of people in the carnivore space that had been Believers for a very long time and it was like we used to have these amazing conversations about how like this meaton diet was like giving us peace and presence of mind to just connect deeper with God than we had ever before I was new in my faith so it was all happening kind of like synergis at the same time but I was meeeting I was meeting a lot of Lifetime Believers that were also in this carnivore wave and they said because they were healed because they were present because they were calm they weren't irritable and anxious around food that had brought their relationship to God to like heights they had never imagined before dude I love that man Frank you know I'm sure you and I could keep talking about this topic and go more in depth but for those listening you gave one practical step right of like if they want to get started start with a a fast right right 48 to 72 hour fast start taking notes down of what they're feeling whenever they think about food or pornography before we wrap this conversation up is there any other practical step that they can start doing to start working on their gut health and start overcoming pornography that you know has been really helpful at the beginning stages of a man's Journey yeah I think one of the biggest things that people can do for their gut health is something that you did I mentioned the carnivore diet I think anybody that goes on a 30 to 60-day meat Min diet does it need to be meat only don't eat meat and Snickers because that's not going to be healthy but some meat and fruit some meat and veggies eliminating processed sugar and unnecessary carbohydrates most people probably listening to this don't need a lot of carbohydrates to fuel their body if you're 15 to 20 pounds over wheat you could actually operate with almost zero carbs and your body would begin to rapidly change its composition but I think eliminating the processed stuff out of your diet as you've experienced for six months like how much better is your skin how much more live do you feel how much more lighter on your feet are you like you're sharper like you even said it your processing is quicker like you're able to kind of respond and think more quicker on your feet all of that is a byproduct of you cutting out that thing that I don't believe was like our body needs like we know it doesn't need it I don't think it's good for it so eliminate the sugar and as much processed stuff out of your food you want to take it to the next step go on a 30 to 60 day carnivore or or me meat and fruit diet and I'm 99.9% certained your life will radically change if you commit to that now don't go 27 days and on day 28 29 30 eat like an [ __ ] and then call me be like Frank it didn't work but it's like if you could truly commit now it's GNA be tough like you probably had for the first three weeks like you probably had to get like you probably fought a lot of Temptation once you on the other side of it man like literally once you get past that week three your brain changes like neurochemically what your brain desires changes and the things that you used to desire you no longer Desire by learning to control for a short window of time so the sugar and the junk food go on the meat only or try the meat and fruit yeah that's great man and for those of you who think is this hard yes it's hard but is it worth it 100% overweight is hard being addicted to pornography and trying to live a purposeful fulfilling meaningful connected life to others is hard too choose your heart like life is hard it's not supposed to be easy and as a Believer I think that's maybe the thing that we sometimes forget like oh Jesus's life was hard so I was going to be easy no he actually said you will face trials in your look forward to them because those are actually what's going to shape you to be the person that God has called you to be you want to build your body it's hard you got to put it under stress you got break things down you got to restore it you want to grow emotionally it's going to be hard you got to put yourself under emotional stress break things down grow you want to grow mentally you gotta it's gonna be hard you got to break things down mentally and grow life is hard dude accept it which hard do you want though yeah and at the end of the day when you pick a certain hard there's going to be fruit so what fruit do you want right like if you want the good fruit like man I I I was at a party just the other day right this past weekend they were celebrating uh someone who became a US citizen and they had all this food like I couldn't eat 80% of it yeah and they had like all these snacks and they're like do you want it I'm like there's a part of me that wants it because I miss apple pie it's my favorite but like if I take a bite of that I'm gonna be killed over in the corner and I I regret it and I was like no no I'd rather be sharp I'd rather be alert I'd rather be light so that I could pick up my kids I'd rather have the energy so that I could go do Brazilian jiu-jitsu like I'd rather just be where I'm at now than like feeling sluggish and physically unable to do those things yeah I need my mind sharp so that when Temptation does come I can fight it I'm laughing man what an amazing story but it's funny like after sharing that I was like there's the perfect example of like what it means to be an American Right congratulations on your US citizenship now eat all this food that is unhealthy for you right like there is America in 2024 and why this convers Ken is so needed right because of that is the reality for most people like the world that we live in is just Ultra processed I call it the microwave Society we're soft we're weak I don't think it's good for us but it's just a funny example like congratulations on being American here's all this junk that's really not that good for you but eat up well and you know what's even funnier is that my wife was actually talking uh to the person who became a US citizen and she was like you know normally where I come from we make everything homemade and it's clean it's processed but she was like what's the American culture she's like just buy a bunch of snacks junk food and like burgers and hot dogs and it was funny I was like oh yeah everything I looked here felt like a normal American dish or celebration to be a US citizen and I thought to myself I can't have most of this stuff right now well when you travel outside the country you experienc that now we're way off topic so I don't know if you're G to cut all this but when you travel out of the country you experienced that I was in Columbia in the beginning of August 5 days on there dude we ate like a king but the minute we got up from the table we walk we'd eat three appetizers the biggest Entre maybe have a drink or two for dinner you get up and you're light and actually came back from that trip leaner than when I left my girlfriend's family just went to Italy over the summer as well same thing they ate pasta every single day but they were lighter and leaner because it's all naturally based organic foods yeah God made yeah and I think that's all super important for people to listen maybe this is the last question we'll leave off with I think some people know that they need to eat cleaner yeah and that they need to have a good gut health and we're talking about choosing their hard but there's also some shame that comes to feeling like gosh I've screwed up my diet for so long can I actually recover can I actually eat healthy and can you speak into those guys who might feel a little bit shamed right now that they know their health is not in order and they should be doing it but they're feeling all the stressors in life how do you speak into them where they feel empowered and not in shame or ashamed of where they're at yeah before I answer that just to kind of tie this whole conversation to together with the food the process junk there was this quote shared online a couple years ago and it was if you ever wonder what pornography is doing to your brain just look at somebody that or just look at what fast food has done to the American society and I think of a good you know kind of wrapping all this conversation not anybody listening to this is is still questioning whether or not pornography is bad but we know it to be 100% true it's just it's ultr processed fake highly produced non- intimacy well have you not to cut you off but have you seen those images where they looked at people who are addicted to sugar and like addicted to cocaine oh yeah yeah brain scans and everything yep brain scans are very similar and then people who are addicted to pornography and addicted to Sugar how Sim dude crazy how similar how similar it is yeah uh your question though I I think is more wrapped up maybe not in shame but I think it's it's I think it's around people's lack of belief and confidence within themselves you know shame is it's a very destructive state to operate out of but I think the people that struggle most with same are those ones that struggle with self-confidence or belief in themselves and I know that this can be very daunting for a guy that's trying to get pornography or trying to overcome the challenge with food because they have a history of failure with themselves which is what you said they've been trying to stop eating processed food they've been trying to overcome pornography for years or decades but their reality shows them that they're not successful that's a self-perception problem there they don't believe in their ability to actually produce it until you change that inner belief your reality will never be any different but how do you begin to build belief small incremental wins stacked up over time if you're struggling with pornography your weight financially relationship wise you're not going to solve all those problems together I would say find the lowest one the simplest one and begin to stack wins in that area the power of small incremental progress stacked up over time for a short period of time I'm literally talking 30 to 60 90 days have one to two things that you're going to commit to doing every single day you begin to see yourself through a different perception through a different lens every day you become the person that can do one thing for yourself so start small if it's not eating after 700 p.m.

commit to that if it's going on a 30-minute walk commit to that James Clear in atomic habits talked about a client that he worked with he had hundreds of pounds to lose for six months all he wanted him to do was drive to the gym walk in and walk out I don't want you to touch a weight what he did is he proved to himself that he can go to the gym that shaped his identity that now that I'm here start with they talk about the one push-up if you can get down to do one every single day but I think beginning to stack small incremental wins it's got to start small though that's the problem most people they try to change everything they go on low carb keto training six days a week two times a day fasting sauna cold plune you've never done any of those consistently over time how start doing 17 of them start with one myself I've been training for 25 years going to the gym it's like breathing I also get in a sun I also get in a cold Pune I also track someone in my food I also walk daily but it's been 25 years of me stacking a lot of these winds it's a part of my identity now start with the one though the lowest simplest thing if it's not hitting snooze for most people that will change your life if you start your day every single day with honoring the first commitment now when you see yourself in the mirror the person looking back is somebody that actually cares for your success understand the power of this relationship that have with yourself and how much you are in control of it by doing the little things that you say you're going to do dude that's a great way to end this conversation man super powerful and for someone who for those of you who might know this I work at a goal achievement company called Full Focus from Michael Hyatt that's a lot of what we talk about just focus on the one thing right what's the domino effect and I love it I love I love how you were just saying like just focus on the one little thing get those consistent wins CU those consistent wins are going to build the confidence that you need to keep fighting the other things and that is not to deter anything about your faith right because like you said earlier faith has to be integrated from the beginning from the foundation of everything where you're like God I need you to help me I need you to help me to get up at 5 o'clock in the morning I need you to help me to get this one push-up in I need you to help me to slowly but surely gain the confidence that it's like I can do this because you God have given me the power to do this what does the first book in the Bible tell us without God we are broken we are going to slip and we live in a fallen world so just because we have God doesn't mean that we're going to live a perfect life so we have to accept that presupposition from the beginning uh and that's why I said I think the faith has to be that foundation for everything else but then we still need to be tactical intentional about the things that we follow that right and that's where it's like God saved me right now I'm perfect and then when I'm not perfect well what can I do about it well you got to do different things if you want a different outcome so yeah this has been awesome I love it Frank man for those of people who are listening to this and they're like I need to learn more from Frank and uh want to hear more about his program and his podcast what's the best way to reach you yeah uh well Coach Frank Rich anywhere Instagram YouTube uh you can just search us there we do have a free school Community for anybody that's interested in in maybe getting plugged in with a community of guys great resources regular trainings uh inside of there as well you can find that at school.com thebuilt man awesome and that school SK yes sir yep I'll put that in the show notes for those of you guys who are looking at this again Frank thank you so much man this has been a very encouraging very empowering and also challenging man like I want to make sure we're always being healthy and working on our gut health I appreciate your unique perspective in the topic for uh men to kill shame so for those of you who are still wondering what should I do next this may be the next best step and until next time what I want you all men to keep doing is kill shame stand strong and be on Mission hope you guys have a great day and God bless thanks for joining us today if you found this episode helpful make sure to subscribe and leave a review remember killing shame isn't just about breaking free from the past it's about walking boldly into the future God has for you