Beating The Night Life: A DJ’s Path to Christ w/ Michael Zapeda

Transcript

welcome to the Shameless podcast where I help Christian men kill shame stand strong and live on Mission I'm your host Ken PL and I'm bringing you real stories practical insights and biblical truths that equip you to break free from your sin shame and live a life of purpose let's step out of the Shadows together and Into the Light of Christ all right everybody welcome to another episode of the damn shame podcast I am super excited about today's the topic about overcoming the Temptation Of The Night Life and as a DJ Michael zapa is going to talk about redeeming your past life uh Michael beta is our guest today he is a multi-talented entrepreneur with a background in DJing cyber security and Leadership within his church and where he does a lot of transl of services at his Armenian Russian church and he loves working with the youth at his church Michael I am so excited to have you on the podcast today and you have such a varied background from cyber security to DJing uh we'll get into that today but before we do man tell the audience something fun about yourself thank you Ken for that kind of introduction uh a lot of kids would say oh you are such a dad even though I don't have kids of my own just yet but I tend to pull out at my hat like some corny dad jokes for example I printed something out but what do you call a fish with no eyes uh I don't know fish just without the eye my gosh yeah why did the math book look sad uh why did the math I'm a dad I should know these I should have these it's because I had way too many problems oh my gosh you are dead you're ridiculous and the last one for the little ones uh what do you call a bear with no teeth should be easy one a bear with no teeth barless great one a gummy bear wow I know it's so bad yeah they at least get a little crack or you know the dads who listen to this podcast they're GNA be like I love Michael everybody else is going be like what the heck just happened to this podcast sorry about that no no worries man hey we like to have fun here we're going to crack a lot of jokes today so it' be great but DJ man I'm excited to have you here I'm excited for the conversation uh especially because you know you do have a vast experience right where you're like your day job is cyber security but you have been in the DJ Scene and you have your own community of DJs now is it called the wolf pack right correct right so you're just like you got so much stuff going on but I I really want to dig into your world as a DJ and just tell us about first how you got into the DJing scene and what that lifestyle was like for you in terms of both excitement and struggles yeah so first of all it started in high school I've always looked up to these DJs that were doing these competitions you know with like scratching all these maneuvers you know it looks so cool to me you know just like how a lot of kids are brought up in like sports you know soccer it could be anywhere like skateboarding for me it was always real of like how can you manipulate these records and make it sound super cool you know so I got into that world probably at the age of 16 and there was no YouTube at that time I think it was still like just migrating so it was like a lot of like vs and whatever you catch on cable Access TV and so luckily I grew up in those days you know like getting into the early days of YouTube and being able to see people around the world you know put out this content and it just inspired me to get like a deck of my own and learn the craft and from there I just became hooked that's awesome so you got into DJ and now you've been doing that since the early 90s uh but that also came with Temptations right oh yeah and that was like a double-edged source so what were some of the Temptations that came with that lifestyle and how did you see those affecting your spiritual life at that time I would say you look at this as a potential not just as a job but a potential career there's a lot of inconsistent hours as you're taking a lot of gigs that aren't necessarily pain at first yeah and that's the struggle for most DJs I see nowadays is that they are super to go from bedroom DJ into DJing for a crowd of their and then to take that into consideration of getting into a main stage you know where people are buying tickets to seeing you perform to maybe the night life night scene you know you're spinning at a club consistent having residency so what comes with that is that there's a lot of toxicity there's a lot of um there's a lot of like substance abuse there's a lot of drinking involved there's a lot of people just acting recklessly at times you know um I'm pretty sure Ken you could name countless times you celebrate at someone's birthday party you know an alcohol came people took shots you know and people started acting wild you know there are those fun moments where you're sing along to your favorite song and then there's those moments where some guy gets in a fight because like you know you had a little bit too much to drink yeah so you see seen a lot of substance abuse a lot of drinking right but there's also a lot of lust that was there yes how did how did that play out in your life you know to be honest it's part of the culture you know they going to be beautiful women either that are going to do bottle service that are they going to be dancers you know they draw a crowd to this venue even restaurants I've djed at restaurants or private events and they have models that they hire you know for to be in attendance and so with that comes people that you know they look at you as like oh you know like you're somebody now you know you're behind the decks you have credibility and they like to be seen with those certain people just like if you're in a band you know people love to get to know be acquainted with the musicians and so with DJs um it happens the same you kind of live like a rockar life and you know you could draw ego but you kind of have to like balance that out yeah well so let me ask this were you at any point saved during the time that you were a DJ or would you say I was always saved how did that kind of how did your spiritual life play out in this sure so I was born in uh achristian values I was dedicated as a baby I always followed it got baptized by water at the age of seven so I understood what my values were it was until college life came is where I kind of try to take my own path if that makes any sense to the point where I was just like you know I've always been this good boy I've never actually got to see uh if I take this risk if I could go about trying to live both Lifestyles and it was always a hit and miss for me I would run into either the wrong crowd I would put my feet a little too far to the world and do things that was against my own moral beliefs but I always stay true as like you know I got to have some people in my Social Circle that are not all toxic you know that are still Christian friends you know that would reach out to me so that was one of the benefits so you in some sense were living a correct me if I'm wrong if I heard this right a double life where like at some point in your DJ life you were like I'm going to church I'm hanging out with my Christian friends but like I'm falling into sexual sin I'm drinking I'm smoking or I'm falling into substance abuse is that correct or there some stuff you were like your moral conscious stopped you from it that's correct that was lukewarm at is I mean any early 20-year-old is going to go through that you know they're going to what is that the parable of the one that sheep you know that left and then came back was that yeah the the the the parab the parable of the prodical son there you go the prodical son and we both were like spacing out I was like yeah I I just got intrigued by all you know you go to these places they're beautiful these women are beautiful they're intoxicating and you're being seduced not just by the music itself but by everything that comes along with it and when you're just getting into it it's very like a shiny present you know like you get a new car you're like oh you know for a while you're like intoxicated you want to drive that car every day and well same thing with his night life everything about it is smoking mirrors you know there are good things about it and there are bad things about it yeah what what did that seduction promise you cuz I think a lot of us right we fall into it for a certain reason but for you in particular what was it promising you that you thought man this is going to fulfill the X in my life yeah I just thought maybe one day I could be that there's some artists that were DJs that I looked up to I was like maybe one day I'll be able to open up for them maybe one day I'll get to spin at this venue or travel across the country or different cities and get to perform for other crowds so there was always that goal in mind but at the same time you know the more people you meet the realization is that it's a small world people know everything everybody and so if you make a good impression on one person it's a domino effect it starts leading to other places New Opportunities some doors that open are me aren't meant to be opened you know and sometimes you just go on a hunch maybe this is a good thing to add to my resume yeah so did you feel like you had to fall into like sexual sin and substance drinking or substance abuse and all that stuff primarily because you're like this is my way in to get into these uh in front of these people and be like look I'm one of you believe it or not that's always going to be there that's always Primal um my whole thing is that I would drink but to moderation I wouldn't get to the point where I was hung over the next day and I don't know how to handle liquor that very well so I learned early college days you know like once I go into these places I'm G to try to like limit myself to one or two drinks and nothing more I'm cut off after that as far as all the drugs go I didn't touch any of that luckily I had the right people in my circle to prevent me and take accountability from me making that mistake got it was your was so your main struggle was just women and sexual sin yes yes yeah how did at what point in your life did you kind of like hit rock bottom for the lack of a better word or just be like oh my gosh what I'm doing is not working none of these girls are satisfying lust isn't satisfying and I'm like I'm at the end of my rope like walk us through that Journey a little bit sure so passion for anything only goes so far you could be very talented to me that's being skillful at a certain thing you could be a handyman you could be somebody that's really get a computers and so for me it was music that deep love for music and having a platform to immerse myself creating and producing my own sound you know that I could share with others that's what kept me going to a certain point I engage with my favorite artist you know the other thing is you have opportunities and recognition from other DJs promoters in the nlife scene you build your personal brand uh you get to perform you know cool events you know for like say you had a chance can to perform for um Samsung you know and they're going to give you like brand new TV and stuff like that for doing them the favor like you're G to be ecstatic right so I had opportunities like that you know to my peak of my career it wasn't until the age of 27 where I realized I wasn't passionate about this anymore I'm going through the same otions you know I wasn't being fulfilled honestly like I had the money I had you know the resume and I had the fan base you know people would drive like an hour and a half to come see me DJ just because in their City there is nothing happening and they seen everything that I was doing and they're like this is brilliant like this you're different from all the other DJs in my town and so they got to the point where I just got fed up of traveling I got fed up with um dealing with like shady people and I took a break and we'll stop from there yeah well it it sounds like what's interesting is I I heard you is that your and the shame that you were living in started to to deteriorate your passion for something that you fell in love with early on and you're like I want to do this but like your sin was kind of trapping you to something else and kind of losing yourself and another thing to add to that is that ego becomes a thing at that State you start getting this recognition and people showing up to support you and you're like you know what it's like all pride in a sense to where you're doing things and you're like I was never this person why do I speak this way why do I make promises to people and like lead them into this but I've learned to turn that around today yeah that's great man well what's crazy to think about is that like uh I'm trying to remember where it says this but like sin begets sin right like the one sin leads to another sin it's not like it's just isolated event and it's funny how you're talking about like well your ego right like your pride comes up and you're just like oh I think I can handle this but then you fall into another sin and then another sin and another sin I remember a previous podcast guest he was just talking about how he had to keep hiding all of his sin and just the sin of lying just kept compounding that he was like I didn't even know who I was talking to or what lie I was telling to what person at some point uh and that same thing kind of feels here where just like that Pride was just overwhelming everything else right but then you took a break and you were like I I need to reset my life and you started to realize that this is drawing you away from God and now you're like I need to come back to God Walk us through your journey of coming back and really surrendering your life to the Lord and not living that double life yeah for me honestly I wasn't having fellowship with my Christian brothers or sisters anymore feeling like I was a failure at that point I was like I left this lifestyle I don't really have anything going on anymore you know I got to start all over again you can out of everybody I'm pretty sure you understand how that feels as man to have to start all over again it sucks dude yeah whether going back to school you know like maybe have a family you have kids you know and you're balancing two jobs whatever that is you know and you're like you know I have some friends that are earning like six figures you're like why aren't I in their footsteps you know and so for me it was a lot of self-reflection finding who I am and finding my identity in Christ that led me to finding a new passion because we're human beings like we constantly want to learn new things and we constantly push ourselves if we're comfortable being uncomfortable like learning new things meeting new people and so that's kind of like how cyber security fell in place is that you know I was always pretty good or pretty decent with computers I would say I shouldn't say great because it takes a lot of work and uh just like with DJing like when it I was learning how to scratch or how to mix by ear and not by you know what the computer shows you it was very technical you know you had to rely on a lot of different things how do you troubleshoot like a printer going out you know everybody that works in the office knows that that printer is going to give you a headache and so I'm that guy that helped some troubleshoot and gives them patience and just like how I feel like the Lord gives us the grace and patience with us um I've learned how to do that with others that's great man so you're the guy that a lot of us would be like please save us when our technology is going on the fritz and especially the printers there's always that one printer right you're just like I freaking hate this thing um I I want to go back to a little bit of what you just said when it came to like your identity in Christ of just like since you've been in the church you kind of like knew uh about God for a long time you were Wayward you kind of left you came back what did repentance look like in your life during this time repentance is just saying you know even though I may failed you even though I try to make my own way you know you've never abandoned me you know how Christ was on that cross and he's like where are you you know and um I was kind of like in that moment in my life where I had to shift you know what I was used to what I got comfortable doing and yeah just ask for General repentance to turn away from that lifestyle and never did I think I would get back into this life scene you know but things are so different now you know I go into the room and people are like there's something about his mannerism that is different from all the others in this room you know I carry myself differently and thanks to the father like I'm able to be a better Communicator be a better active listener and yeah now I have different goals than what I had 10 years from now 20 years from now yeah well dude let's jump into that I I really want to talk about this right because when most people people jump into or they leave an old lifestyle it's kind of like they bury it they're like it's gone it's done I'm never going to do that again but it seems like Christ redeemed that lifestyle right where it's like no no this passion that you have may actually be a calling a way for you to minister to other people how did that work out in your life where all of a sudden it went from this really a season of life where sin was rampant to now a Ministry for you that's a wild I don't know where to begin but you know the very first church that I grew up in that I got dedicated as a baby um I ended up going back to this place you know several times in my lifespan you know after I retired from DJing you know like at 29 to today I'm 37 and I never thought you know the Lord would bring me back just randomly on a whim you know I was like this is not an English or Spanish speaking church I'm bilingual English and Spanish how am I going to learn how to speak Armenian or Russian he's led me to other congregations like that too where it was like a Jewish assembly or it was like a all African-American church and I'm like I don't belong here I'm like the one that's off like from everybody and they give me these looks and I was just like hey you know I was led here by the Holy Spirit and people are like oh praise God you know you know the Lord and Savior but I would just say you know he leads me places where I least expect it you know like if you were called to be a pastor you know I'm pretty sure someone would struggle with that that calling if you were called to be a politician I'm sure you would be like I'm not smart enough for this I don't know all the bills and laws to go about that and so for him to lead me back to this is something I was pushing against I'm like I already know what to expect there's a lot of young people there's other people that could do it Lord like why are you calling me back into it and it's because I'm very relational with people I know how to earn their trust I know like I know they when we talk about certain subjects that's great man so as you because you knew it it sound like that was like an easy segue to Ministry for you so walk us through how did God use that as a Ministry like maybe some examples of I'm not we don't need like crazy examples but simple small examples of like man this is how God really started to use me uh and redeem that lifestyle yeah it starts with I'm meeting a bunch of these young kids by Young I'm talking about 21 to like 32 year olds that are just hungry and passionate like I once were you know they have the talent they have the potential to reach you know that Milestone that I reach to having like their own nights you know so I'm mentoring them which is essentially me discipling them along with another brother of mine that's a little bit older than me now this other brother is a Christian and a current DJ in the house scene um he loves house music and he was also mentored and discipled by another brother that was a Christian and now a pastor and he's still a DJ and I was just like how is the Lord arranging these people in my life to work with them with the same goal as like hey yeah love what you're saying about Christ I love that you're coming back to the DJing but you're not really DJing anymore which to me is odd now you're doing more of the promoting side so they question my ethics of like can you really promote like you're promoting you know these nights where people are going to be in sin and I was like yeah but this is a way for us to witness to them that otherwise would not be reached by a church and so it's kind of like he's brought me in that direction of like mentoring these young people but at the same time these young people are going to be witnesses to other people on this scene that no other words could not be you know relate to yeah you know as you were talking the image that came to mind was like light entering into the darkness right where so many times as Christians we just kind of and if we're not careful we could fall into this trap of like let's just be exclusive let's just stay in our own bubble and not like press into these dark places where like the light needs to be shown and God needs to be revealed and you know using the skills and the passions like you did and now you're mentoring these young people to actually go utilize yeah it it starts with simple things like when you go to a gig don't pregame pregame is a term that they drink before they get to the venue because it's cheaper they get pumped up just like if you go to the gym and you have like a preworkout shake essentially it's the same thing and so you know I meet them at the gym you know as a way to have fellowship with them you know I make activities to like besides music like we get together at one's house you know we have like some Billards you know we have like essentially like almost like the churches do with like small groups you know like a Bible study group I do this out in my own terms and ways like how can I meet them where they're at when they are not Believers yeah that's great man okay so you're mentoring these guys you call we I mentioned it earlier but that's kind of like your wolf pack right it's a group of people not being in isolation you're doing this but they're going into the darkness right and as people are listening to your story they're like man I I remember times when I was in past sin in a certain place or in a certain vocation but I would want to God to redeem it but I'm scared and a lot of people may be scared because they're like if I fall back into the sin I feel like I'm GNA you know fall back in and have a crazy a sinful cycle what have you done since then to prevent your yourself from falling to that Temptation and there might have been times that you weren't perfect but like you know that you're like yes I'm fighting give us some practical tips uh these are some of my tips that really work well one thing is when somebody's offering you drinks and they're like hey I I noticed it you haven't been drinking it's like just get a water from the bar talk to the bartender say hey I've been 10 years sober just give me water or juice throughout the night and then put a little fruit in it and it looks like if I'm having a cocktail so you're tricking others thinking you're having a drink but really you're not another one is yeah often tell them times or like oh you know I'm in a detox right now you know that's such an LA thing to say they believe it I was like you know I'm trying to lose some weight you know I'm trying to stay away from those calories so man going through a detox and they totally understand when it comes to the women and all that just have your intention set to what is the end goal for that night did you want to network with five people when I come to some events that aren't under my wolf pack I just go to support the artist that is on my team and then I'm out of there as soon as they're done DJing there's no need to be there you're just going to be tempted even more and the last thing I tell them is that first impressions are everything when you show up to these places make an impression with the security make a um with the staff you know from the bartenders the people that clean up after place that goes a long way you never know if he could use them and they will help you in the future yeah well what's interesting about that is that like you're telling them to do real practical basic things that you do but I'm sure in that scene right like when I I'm like oh those seems like some nice basic things but like in that scene that's almost like counterintuitive right because they're like no no let's go flirt with the girls let's get drinking like you were saying like the pregame right yeah and almost kind of because of Pride like just fluffing off people and just like I don't care what you think or for the lowle entry people it's like no no no treat them with respect is what I'm hearing from you they're not perfect they make mistakes I have some artists that are they're not just smoking um weed or The Vape but they're doing other stuff like a pill or something I tell them don't do it on my watch what you do in your own time keep it away from the events that you're DJing um and if you need help you could come to me or you could come to my partner Stephen and we could get you help yeah it sounds sounds like some of the people in your group are are they all believers or are they not all believers no no a lot of them are not Believers okay so that's even a Ministry within itself I I was thinking that they were all believers but they're all non-believers so you're ministering to these guys working through them how during your time with them right you're giving them these practical advice to fight against Temptation and then what you utilize to fight against Temptations but how are you ministering to them like how does the gospel kind of come in during your conversations and your hangout times yeah whenever they're talking about negative um associations of feelings you know like oh you know like I'm overthinking or you know I'm feeling a little depressed uh I got these headaches like those are opportunities like little Windows where you could witness you know like I'm a Believer and you know I believe that headaches or like migraines you know they could leave over the power of healing you know through the Holy Spirit they're like what you know when I you know me or like my partner Stephen pray over them they're like like wow like that is so crazy like they don't know how to explain that to you know anytime they're feeling like they messed up or that night forever reason the equipment malfunctions they had a bad set you know I'm giving them words of encouragement you know and then you know that could lead anywhere to Like a Prayer at the end of the night like let me pray for you and they're like okay you know they're open to it yeah dude that's so awesome to think about because you know sometimes you think that unbelievers are like hard-headed and they wouldn't want some of that stuff but you know yeah what's fascinating yeah yeah but what is fascinating about this conversation right going back to your night life right and living in sin living in shame living that double life to now just like no no I get to minister to these people and you know what they're struggling with because you've done it you've been there you've kind of walk that road and we're not suggesting for people to do that in order to be able to empathize with individuals but God is uniquely utilizing you now to be able to pray for people and they're not hard you know sorry their hearts are soft enough to be like oh wow yeah you could pray for me you could do these things and little by little you're ministering and hoping we could see them in heaven with and we could all be in the greatest party ever known to mankind right absolutely there's an analogy um that came about the wolf pack name is that we were all gray wolves gry wolves when they're adolescence they are left from their parents and they're on their own in the wild so they don't have a pack just yet and so they try to find other you know older great wolves that would be able to take them in and so what I've essentially did is I've taken some great wolves that have potential that need some great wolves are known to give experience you know they're able to teach them and then they create their own wolf pack and so essentially been able to take that and you know I'm not the alpha you know I told them like there are many of us that lead this pack you know and so I'm not their boss I just work alongside to to give them my insight of you know you could either learn the hard way you could learn the smart way you could learn the Wise Way the wise way would be learn from others that been in their shoes yeah they're mistakes that way they prevent from making those mistakes that's great man so as we wrap up here and the guys who are listening to this they struggle they struggle with lust they struggle with sexual sin with women especially might be in a scene similar to yours or other scenes right but they're just like I keep falling into this what's some uh words of encouragement that you give them to fight the good fight yeah one thing would be limit your screen time go through your social media pages and see what stands out and what is liked and block those distractions because it's all noise when you go to the gym I realize there are a lot of beautiful women there with revealing outfits and what I tend to do is I Zone into the music and I looked opposite the way because that is a distraction to I I'm only there for an hour work out I'm not trying to be there for like an hour or 40 minutes you know our time is precious here you don't know how long you have on this Earth and so for someone feeling trapped in Temptation whether it's related to Night Life or any other struggles such as lust or pornography or Pride one powerful message of Hope and encouragement would be that you're not defined by your struggles or your past there's always hope and the possibility of change meaning remember that every challenge is an opportunity for growth and transformation You are not alone in this fight you know reach out for support lean on to your faith you know your values and trust with perseverance and the right guidance of others that you can overcome any obstacle your future is full of potential as I have seen with the wolf pack and each step he takes towards seeking help and making positive changes is a step towards that breakthrough brighter more fulfilling life you know because I was once unfulfilled and now I have fulfillment through others Michael that was a lot of great insights and a huge encouragement and I love the beginning when you're not defined by your past failures or struggles so for those of you who are struggling right now that's not where you're you're finded by if you are in Christ if you're a Believer you're born again you've repented of your sin and what I've always thought is even if you failed today right and then you decided to listen to this podcast and you ask for forgiveness the Lord is like I have washed you white as snow you redeemed and your identity is not the sin that you fell into it's you're my child you are a son of God or a child of God and that right there is the power that makes you do all those other things that you were talking about of like being able to press through to unlock your full potential to be able to say you know what regardless of everything else that's going on in life I know that God has me and I could keep pressing forward so Michael dud I love that great word any final thoughts that you want to share with our audience before we wrap up yeah we're all GNA make mistakes um I'm going to continue to make mistakes I'm not 100% clean like my robes would be you know damped torn and stuff like that but he gives us Mercy you know to get back up you know he's watching us consistently you know do genuine repentance turning away from that sin to be disgusted by that sin you know ultimately one day you're going to be able to teach your young ones future generation how to go about that by your uh your testimonies I love it Michael uh if people want to learn from you or if they're like dude I'm in this scene and I need a wolf pack what's the best way to reach out to you and get to know you more yeah I don't have a personal Instagram Pages anymore so you just go to Wolfpack La events and you'll be able to connect with me there or one of my team members will get you in contact with me sweet man well we'll make sure to put that in the session notes uh so I'll make sure to get that link from you Michael we'll put it in the session notes so you guys can reach out to Michael Michael thank you again so much and thank you for sharing your story of just like man living that double life living a sexually sinful lifestyle but God redeems it and now you're using it to be a witness and a minister man I love that absolutely all praise to God and thank you Ken it's been an honor and a privilege yeah for those of you who are listening my encouragement to you go follow Michael if that's the thing that you're into the the same scene that Michael's in and you need that Wolf Pack Go reach out to him and if you are struggling and you are fighting it and you're like I don't know who else to reach out to feel free to reach out to me let's stand together right because at the end of the day what we want to do here is to kill shame stand strong in your identity in Christ and be on Mission that's exactly what my has done over the last several years is just he killed that he killed his past life his old life he stands he's been standing strong in his identity and now he's being on Mission in the same place that used to be sin now he can say I'm doing it for the glory of God so that's you feel free to reach out but keep fighting on the good fight hope you guys have a great day and God bless thanks for joining us today have you found this episode helpful make sure to subscribe and leave a review remember killing shame isn't just about Breaking Free From the Past it's about walking boldly into the future God has for you